This would have to be a specific type of person for me because I’m dynamic in a few ways that requires an independence, so don’t expect me to write! LOL! But I will when you least so might expect I’d stick to you like a fly on wall paper! Plus, anyone could have covid 19, so, I should think an on-line lover as essential as anything with at least some form of cyber-sexual prowess. Don’t you? After all, suspecting someone should even think of a social distancing plan, may still sound ludicrous to some. Be my Online slave and I’ll supply a hefty reference should you ever desire to work with stray animals! Else-wise, you’re welcome to work on my faults and destroy me!
Let’s suppose “The New World Order” did have an alternate agenda like world-wide equality suppose, in a Covid 19 kind of way. The poor eat this idea up; that Governments world wide shall pay all of it’s citizens $2,000 a month not to work! Great idea in a world absent of greed, but not in this one. Sorry to burst your bubble. Never the less, online-pen pals, having cyber sex should maybe see a psychiatrist, as should lovers of any sort, at least theoretically. That’s the nuts and bolts of it.
What tips might I have to suggest how to cultivate such a shallow pool? None but what I can come up with right now. Want me to tap dance too? One might suspect honesty to be a trait more great on-line because of distancing instructions. That’s why sex can only exist between circuits, chips and electrodes! Besides, since honesty doesn’t exist in what we used to call “normal”, we’d already be ahead of the game. Real sex at my age, (68) between a primate of chimpanzee or above, lasts about 9 seconds… Don’t get me wrong, that isn’t sterility speaking. I’m actually multi-orgasmic! (Oh God! He’s talking dirty already!)
Another trait my online female companion simply must possess, is the ability to interpret my chicken scratch without going snaky! That is, in real life, I found women to be somewhat possessive of me and my chicken scratch. So any correspondence would of corpse have to backed up with the signature of a qualified Scientist offering mental certification and a letter from your mother! This can’t be achieved in real life because truth is but another female misunderstanding; No, it’s not based entirely upon what you want to be true. Perhaps I’m being harsh and will instead opt for 70% of 40% of a really poor study conducted by men confirmed women are nuts, as are men after they’ve met one for 15 minutes! I have an interest in Astronomy, though there are other ways I’ve seen stars.
Did I say it would be paramount someone have at least a weak virgin of something interesting to say, given the nature of our limited interaction? Well I suppose this the most painful part; what I have to offer. I’m a tremendously talented musician, (Something most inmates say: “I didn’t do it!”) I came close though. In America, Mercury Records and Sony Records both wanted to promote me. In my favor? I can Play and sing like all of The Beatles all at once, while intoxicated! It’s just a talent I have. I couldn’t get over the border from Canada to The U.S. without a fake american accent and a lot of money! Had I known Americans hate Canadians, I’d have worn a U.S. flag and whistled: Dixie!
What else might make women like me on-line? If I think you’ve said something complimentary, I may reward you by revealing a secret fantasy. Such as getting an entrance fee into an old age home where card games and ping pong rule our ultimate decline to oblivion. I promise, instead, I’ll rather die from exposure, living out of a cardboard box, while pestering society in general for wine money.
So, if anyone out there desires a truly meaningless relationship, I’m your guy! Drop me a short line and I will plague you eternally! On that note, to instruct those not lucky enough to be my throw away, universally used victim of circumstance and possible co-signer for a debt I can’t pay, please feel free to be my On-Line Pen Pal…
You must be logged in to post a comment.