Good evening! Tonight when the moon is full I’ll bite your throat. I’m sorry, I meant to say boat! It was a slip of the tooth. I’m sorry, I meant to say tongue! Won’t you sit beside me on my bled? I’m sorry, I meant to say bed! You’re making me cross! Did I say that?
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All posts for the month June, 2019
We think we know! Yet do we really know what we know, or are we just skimming the surface? Did you know for instance, that our own brains deceive us? We think we see things in living color, with sterio-phonic sound, and a 52″ screen! In fact, the real world is a dull grey, with only tints of color! And you know, if a tree falls in the forest… We can be so certain of things that simply aren’t so, as easily as we can deny truth, understanding, compassion etc. It just depends on how we word things. For instance, if love were truly unconditional, God would not have set his commandments down with the “condition”, that we obey them, or we would not see the new Kingdom on Earth; Quite literally, this means life would not then be granted to us. And if we didn’t set certain conditions upon our children, they’d grow up without direction. Make sense?
We may well ask: Are we made in God’s image, or was he made in ours? After all, the very traits we describe in Man, are the very ones we find present in God, only on a higher level. It’s like asking: “Which came first, the chicken or the egg?” First off, you’ll need a chicken to lay an egg. We may ask: “If God is for real, and loves us so much, why does he allow us to suffer?” Suffering doesn’t come from God. It comes from us. And secondly, God has an escape clause; we requested from him to allow us to make our own choices. Fast forward and we find ourselves standing on the cusp of our own taste of immortality. Do you see where I’m going with this?
How can we subscribe to, or relate to something/someone we inherently believe is not really here or there in the first place? Would this not be self apparent and negate the suggestion of any argument? If we now see ever lasting life raising its ugly head before us and our ability to create, attaining God like levels, and our present understanding that life is the rule in the universe rather than the exception, can we not so conceive the idea that a being all powerful may just in fact exist as well? Can you prove to me that you exist?
If I’m beginning to sound a lot like a Jehovah’s Witness, that’s because I was one. Yes. I was a Yo-Ho! Lol! A Bible student for short. Yes, and a public bother for long! Did you know that in the good old days, Witnesses used to beat people over the head with their Bibles, and twist the arms up around their backs until they confessed they believe? True story!
Now I asked an elder if he believed there to be life on other planets. His answer may surprise you. He said: “God would not make other sentient beings until he perfects us.” I know it surprised me! And it didn’t sit very well with the Astronomer in me either. So the following is my present day take on this. Mind you, you can imagine stranger things.
It was said that the wise men followed a stationery star to the baby Jesus. God doesn’t make stationery stars. They all move. Would God really violate his established laws of physics, just to tell four wise guys where to go? Would he not have sent an Angel to tell them, as he had on so many other occasions? I believe this was a space ship, and God left his son here (The chicken) to hurry our development along, (The egg), so that we need not suffer so much, as we are so often given to complain. I’d complain myself but I’m too numb to complain.
OK! Don’t turn into a mob! This is only my opinion. It’s not my intent it should clash with yours. Did the big bang occur because our empty void sucked in part of another universe? Is God made up because we are story tellers by nature? I’d be interested in what your input is. Evan a debate would be so cool! Can we dispense with the labels and name calling for now? Have we as a species even matured beyond this point yet? Questions, questions… All looking for answers… BTW, God lives with me. I’ve rented him a room:0)
You’ll have to forgive my indulgence. I’m new here. Well not brand new! I was here a year and a half ago. My how things have changed! Someone just blasted me about said post concerning Government scams in the category Government and God: said I was carrying some kind of flag, was so self righteous about blaming others, got her friends re-posting her vicious slander etc., blocked my comments and removed herself from my following. I’m not even going to bother defending myself. Not everything in life is about free suckers and lollipops. Though some would differ, I claim freedom of the WordPress… I guess in Politics we can expect these things. And it’s better to be hated than not noticed at all. So that’s the positive I’ve taken from this. It must have struck a chord, or she wouldn’t have cared one way or the other. I guess I AM defending myself… Falling in love again. Never wanted too. What am I to do? Can’t help it!
Introduction
The purpose of this document, is to set the record straight; not to gain any personal recognition. When does setting the record straight become necessary? Only when the facts become convaluted. While we’re discussing facts, it’s best you know I don’t have a spell checker on my TV, so WYSIWYG is applied here: i.e. “What you see is what you get.” Also this will be long winded via the essence of its complex nature. And nature is complex enough as it is!
So get a coffee/tea/coke/heroin. What you will witness, is actual fact that the pen is indeed mightier than the sword! Nothing can be more exciting, because throughout History, the difference between the truth and a lie, has often meant life or death, depending upon the severity of a crime, or the absence of one. Why it is not always understood that the truth should stand correct on its own, is purely a matter of association; it is as if a beautiful flower has had mud flung on it, so that the flower isn’t so beautiful anymore. Keeping this all in mind, let us begin.
As I mentioned in a previous article, old age security (OAS) could very well cut me off because of a discrepency in the acknowledgement of my true entitlement. OAS asked me to include with the reams of material they asked for in copies only, a witnessed statement from Leslie (my Room-mate) as to what exactly she is giving me toward rent monthly. And here is where the truth becomes watered down somewhat.
On the one hand, if I do NOT provide this statement, I am liable. On the other, if the statement is falsified, again, I am liable. Are you with me so far? That’s the most important of anything I say here because here is where the system breaks down in accounting for the nuances of the human condition! Now Leslie has lied to say she is giving me $500.00 per month, because she is only giving me $200.00 per month and doesn’t want O.D.S.P. (Ontario Disability Service Plan) to know that, or she will be cut off and therefore must lie to OAS about it, so that one agency doesn’t put two and two together with the other and discover her deceitfulness.
So now, I’m in a pickle because I’ve previously said Leslie is giving me $200.00 per month, and now am handing in a statement saying that she is giving me $500.00 per month. Obviously, someone is lying here! And whether it is me or not, I am found guilty by association! Truly the adage applies here in its most classic form: “Oh what a tangled web it is we weave, when first we practice to deceive!” Oh but one more stupid, dangling paragraph fixed :o)
Now here’s where the real fun begins; when the entire mechanism behind why I’d lie, now becomes redundant. The cap on my funds is $450.00 per month, after expenses. Any more than this, and the amount of my credit begins to drop. Why then would I put my entire subsistence in jeopardy for want of $50.00? Add to this, if I were indeed a thief, I’m going in the wrong direction! I would then say that Leslie is giving me less money per month, rather than more! Even a child involved with grade 3 math. would see how little sense this would make! The big dummies! Lol!
“What we have here, is a failure to communicate!” (Cool Hand Luke). They’ve put in charge, this so called: “Investigator”, who has swapped out his I.Q. with a common dew worm! They have placed someone in charge of my destiny; someone who can’t see the difference between right and wrong to begin with. Trying to make sense to him, is like talking to a brick wall; someone who has been taught to only see wrong doing in the entire scheme of things…
Clearly, it now becomes crystal clear that the system as it stands, needs to be revamped. Also clear, is that a parydimn shift is now well underway; although, it may be too late in it’s effectiveness for me. Thank you for your time in discerning but one of many flaws that urgently need be addressed! Noncompliance can be a circumstancial issue, rather than a non-co-operative or deceitful one. If I don’t speak up, others are left vulnerable to any similar condition. The truth should always be upheld, regardless of the validity of their argument anyway. Moreover, if we don’t unit in a cause, we are then deemed divided in one. Wow! What a spew! Your comments either way are welcome…
Blitz All Razz; makes my bum look like new, and it smells winter fresh! Alas! The rest of me still looks like a sun dried raisin. My Jelly fish likes it though! That and “Don Ho’s Greatest Ho Hits.” As an added perk, given enough natural gas, I can now play “God Save The Queen” with my butt cheeks :0) Not interested? Have a Cow lick your forehead for luck!
Just thought I’d casually share some of the meaningless tripe going on in my life right now. I’m doing this because I’ve been bumping into a lot of troubled souls lately. Me thinks if I share some of the coping methods I’ve adapted through-out my life, this may be of comfort to someone. Now if you think you’re gonna faint, grab a pillow and hold it against your face first! I will tackle the things most pressing, first to last. Two things altogether…
They’re threatening to cut me off (unjustified) my old age pension, so my new home will be on the street! How’s that for being stressed to the max? It helps me cope to understand the problem isn’t really me. Put simply, they’re cutting as many people off as they can right now because all the money we worked so hard to invest, simply isn’t there!
T’is imperative I don’t allow thoughts on this matter to pester me. One way I calm myself, is to take a hot bath every half hour. True, over the last two weeks, I’ve shrunk by a good 7 inches! It helps me relax to know, people won’t confront me while I’m naked. If this doesn’t work, I simply bang my head against a wall ’till I stop thinking! As an added perk, I’ve developed a blow hole :0)
Going backward through sludge one month, I went on a diet consisting of no food. The resulting delerium left me dehydrated, because I was trying to pour water into my ear! I was admitted into the Hospital. A nurse in training didn’t wash her hands before administering the I.V., so I contracted a rare but dangerous cocci bacterium that directly attacks the heart!
Now I have to sit all day, every day for 9 days, with other disease ridden folk, while they carpet bomb my gut with antibiotics! Adding insult to injury, they now request I pay the bill for tests they did to see if it was really true! I easily coped with this by asking the Nurse to pull my finger. I further alleviated the problem by reading a book: “Mechanisms of Sweet Death.”
Other methods of coping consist of holding your breath until someone gives you money, peeing on someone’s car, just for a giggle, have sex with a doorknob, winding a guitar string round a B-Natural neck, hugging a tree, dropping acid during a balloon ride, harpooning your goldfish…
Odd-ball thing is, along side the shear tonnage of human crap that’s been dumped on me throughout my life, this is not so bad. The only real trauma attached, is in thinking about it. It’s a case of mind over matter; if you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter! After all, you are just left to say: “It’s a Wonderful Life!”, and keep on going on, as you always have, regardless of who or what may intervene! If life were always easy, you’d get soft in the gord. Yes? I leave you with this final word from the movie J.I. Jane: “A frozen Sparrow will fall dead from the branch of a tree, without ever once having felt sorry for itself!”
Where is all this super talent coming from? It made me run to my closet, huddle and carry a tune to the sound of my own knees chattering; as opposed to the chattering knees of others who also live in my closet. There was Darian Evans, a Photographer who’s brilliant captures caused me to smash my camera to bits and pieces! No problem; someone took a picture of it… Then there was Julz, a Painter so Artsy fartsy that I found myself posing spontaniously, in my room, out of shear compulsion! Then Art blew me away with origonal music that made mine sound like kiddie porn: “Should I pack a lunch?” <sigh> If I could save just one kid from watching porn…
This all brings me back to my true King and redeemer, Cheeses Crapes! Being an authentic Vegan, after learning to go on the paper, just the sound of sizzling burgers would cause me to lick the wallpaper and pretend it was cow fat! It got to where I would flush out cattle so I could pinch them to see if they’re surreal! I would dream, and visions of sugar plums would dance through my head! Just how does one resist the savory stench of pancakes in the air anyway? Is there a pancake Guru here? Probably… My question is: Are pancakes more addictive than Heroin?
When I was young and my heart was an open book, I lived in abject poverty. So when Captain Crunch sky-rocketed to 12 cents a truck load, I would break Wonder Bread (builds strong bodies 12 ways) into pieces in a bowl, pour some cow puss on, and lagger on 12 spoons of table sugar! When I was 12, everything had to be in sets of 12 or I’d lack trust. Remember that? Then you are poor Man!
This brings me back to my King and re-dreamer, Cheeses Crapes! See how I strategically dump all over my words? So as to avoid the humiliation of gnawing on tree bark all day, me thinks I’ll have just one Cheeses Crape. What harm could it do? A heart attack? I can live with that. Just one! C’mon! I give you my word as both a thief and a liar, I’ll go right back to rabbit food forth-with; as in, within the forth try. Cheeses Crapes! Mmm! I could just eat you! :0(
When it seems life has dealt you a bad hand and all is failure no matter how hard you try, you begin to develop some very weird thinking habits. Should I just jump off a cliff? Yeah but who would notice? Besides, a person could really hurt themselves doing a thing like that! What if I tried going to another planet? Hmmm… Not enough gas money. I was told by actual eye witnesses, that once I jumped too high in my crib, and fell on my head, and this is what caused the brain damage. That can’t be right, I whispered to my selves. I’ve been cracking coconuts open with my head all my life, and never felt a thing!
One day while I was roaming about the surface of the Earth, it came to me as a car whizzed by, why should I have sympathy for the devil? He wouldn’t sign my contract! All I wanted was just 10 minutes of absolute bliss in exchange for my putrid soul. He replied: “Of corpse you’ll have to come back to me when you die anyway, because of brain damage.” Brain and brain! What is brain?
If things weren’t weird enough for me at this point, I suddenly got a flash of pure stupidity! What say if I became a brain surgeon and operated on my selves to find the cause of this damaged brain? So I just marched myself into a clean and tidy operating room and announced that I could help them operate and was really good with crayons! “Oh no!” one of them quipped. “You’ll have to go to school first.” I argued: “But I’m skilled at buttering toast, and pulling the wings off insects!” They all gawked at me like I was from Venus! Sadly as I turned to walk away, I heard one of them murmur to the other: “Poor kid! He must have brain damage!”
Know there’s a big kid in me. And Doctors say if they remove it, I’ll die! They even took x-rays of my brain, but the only thing they saw, was the eye chart behind me :0( To be headless from thinking too much. How horrible is that? And so dear friends who don’t even know me, I must now ask, with all due queerness. What is wrong with my brain?
If you think the title of this Blog is “Global Warming” check it again.
More than ever, the carbon footprint we leave in our wake, must be addressed. We seem to think we can go on the way we’ve been and relinquish responsibility toward the upkeep of our tiny rock and not directly suffer any consequences. Nothing can be further from the truth! In fact, our health and living conditions have already been compromised. I have compiled a simple list of do’s and don’ts imperative not only to our own survival, but that of generations to come…
- Buy a scooter! They’re cheep, usually chargeable, and the perfect way to bop around the city for lite shopping.
- Get your fruits and veggies from local farmers. This will negate the need for a truck to travel 2000 miles just to put it on your table. It will be fresh and the Farmers work hard and will shower you with free-bees, just for choosing them.
- It takes 19 gallons of water just to feed you one disgusting hamburger! Plant based burgers will eliminate the cow fart and burp problem, don’t taste half bad if you don’t cook them to a chard cinder. The methane cows produce trumps all the emissions from all of the vehicles world wide!
- Stop buying fish. The oceans are fished out anyway. Our oceans cover over half the planet and replenish a lot of the Earth’s atmosphere, just by alga alone.
- Pass the word. And tell who you tell to pass the word as well. You’d be surprised how quickly word gets around!
- By doing these things, you will not only feel better about yourself, you’ll set an example for others and pave the way for a better world; which is huge and completely nullifies any bickering about it. After all, everything we do casts a vote for what kind of world we’d like to leave our children and our children’s children.
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