When I was a young man tired of thirty three;
I thought there was something else owed to me!
Yet barely had I just seen the open sea;
And still quite beside myself for company!
Stealing a middle aged fool of forty five;
Feeling all cocky and cool to survive!
Hadn’t gone to school to learn to thrive;
Just sat on a stool and drank myself alive!
It was a tormented soul what found fifty six;
Fore-mentioned goal, never added to the mix!
My life had become a set of illusions and tricks;
No found net conclusions for an intricate fix!
It wasn’t until I’d turned completely sixty two;
That I’d finely learned how neatly what to do!
Sorrow should have burned, discreetly up and through;
Tomorrow can be earned, or be deeply burying you!
Technically, it’s already the weekend so I started out by making my famous chicken soup! Recipe: I throw a chicken into a pot, and cook it… Only two ingredimints may differ in my ‘life giving nectar’, and they are potatoes or noodles (Fettuccine). I get to choose! I was concerned Mr. P.HD. (Knuckle Head), can’t swallow any solid food, so by throwing anything green in the pot I could think of, (my old socks) he can get nourishment from the juices! He thanked me for a half hour, so I guess it was a success. We even suffered a man hug (No eye contact! Duration must not be lengthy! No fondling genitals!)… Yes I am capable of compassion; if you beg, and there’s something in it for me! LOL!
It’s a good thing we live in a day and age where they add actual speech to the movies! So I might treat myself to a little Pay-Per-View. I wanna see that movie ‘Focus’ with Will Smith, but whenever I choose it, I get a message that says: ‘This movie is not for you!’ The cable company has been trying to fix the problem for a month! Either they’re technical idiots, or I owe them a double cheese burger! To really watch a movie with the lights off, and your cat taped to a chair, you must have popcorn!
And I’m not talking about that Orville Rickenbacker bag, that hides the actual popping process, but a long-standing tradition of standing around the stove, watching actual colonels, and other high-ranking corns, pop under a glass lid! Looks way cool! You get a huge, bag so cheap, and just need a little canola oil and sea salt, guarantees corn will pop all over the kitchen, cuz I always over pop! Nine tiny corns seem to bread into millions somehow! That’s the whole fun of not knowing what you’re doing… Sometimes there’s no choice but to let the corn fly where it may! Popcorn can achieve critical mass very easily!
And then I suppose I’ll spend 10 minutes with my family. And then, a matter of life or death to me, but completely useless to you, I must complete some web page designs I began constructing on my other blog, and present them to curious onlookers from Venus! Any new release you’d recommend besides Star Wars? Something with a plot? I hate films that rely solely on special effects! Whatever you decide, enjoy your weekend!
I was always different! I never really got along in real society… I would always fight with my brother, and our mother was simply helpless to stop it! Still, she always took us to the park. She was a good Gorilla! Even today I hang out with only a select group of friends.
Here I am with my friends when I was just a young chimp looking for mischief. I’m the one eating the twig… Well, I figure if I’m gonna join the circus, they’re gonna need a selfie of me. So I got out the old Polaroid, blew the dust off and took a selfie for the circus people.
So here I am all spruced up! I know my teeth are a little yellow… It’s pee stains… I knew how to find the circus but not what I can do to entertain once I get there. I can peel a banana! OK… I can squish a banana… I know how to pick my ass! Is picking my ass entertainment?
Here’s the Manager of the circus… He didn’t talk much. His nose got in the way! Said his Father was Jimmy Durante: ‘That’s no banana! That’s my nose! Ha cha-cha cha-cha cha!’ He told me I’d have to start out licking up the elephants cage… Sounded VERY promising to me!
As you can well imagine, after a few hours of that, I told him what he could do with his job!
What a way to make a living!
So I joined a rock band and everything’s been fine since…
Don’t ever get old! People give you looks like you’re some kind of Daffy bass turd, just cuz you can’t understand their mouth full of marbles! As usual, before I took my seat beside the other sick sardines, the Secretary shouts: ‘HAVE YOU STILL GOT THE SAME OLD HEALTH CARD?’ I’m not deaf yet! You don’t have to let the whole room know my health card is older than me! After an hour and a half, he gets to me, cuz I’m now the only one left in the room… It’s like they always plan it that way! And he always says ‘Mr. Darrell! (Like I just turned 5.) Come on down!’ (Like this is a game show, and I might win a free whistle!)
So here I am trying to explain to my Doctor, who looks like a big tube of beefaroni, I need a little more clanzopam because when I try to blog, my fingers shack so much, I’m reduced to a two-fingered Sloth, when it would be so much easier for me to be able to type; or eat a sandwich without spewing lettus all over the room! Or sleep without waking up to my own, private earthquake! Even the cat shook!
Suddenly I realize, he’s not gonna do it for me, and wondered what I am doing talking to a Government stooge in the first place? I really should know better! The waiting room is like a zoo! You can’t read; kids run up and burp in your face! They’ve got the radio blaring, all for some cud chewing 19-year-old Secretary… That must make it harder to yap with her boyfriend over the phone all day; an important part of the job! Then the pharmacist says: ‘Oh! I don’t have enough pills for you, you’ll have to come back! The whole point was to see the Doctor so I could get the script for my pills! There goes that plan shot all to Hell!
And depression pills? Forget about those! What does it matter if it’s right on the screen in front of his eye-balls? I’ll just go about my business axe murdering the entire city! I’ll get them. I have to go back there every second day! Whatever happened to someone taking care of your health problems? My wife’s had her ear falling off for over a year now, and nobodies doing anything about it! It’s untreatable! Everything we have is untreatable! He wants me to have a check up next time. That’s monkey talk for his obsession to stick his hand up my ass! Treat this! Pfffft!! Take big whiffs! It will go away faster…
I don’t like it when people get too close, pats me on the back for no reason, or talks down at me; like they’re waiting for a bus, and I just happen to be there to talk to at the time! I’m a good listener… Small talk doesn’t impress me though. I’d like to roller-skate wherever I go, but it smells a little girly to me. Does roller skating smell girly to you? Anyway, I just thought I’d ease you into my topic for the day: ‘Why I’m afraid of: ‘The Carpenters!’
I find their music very lilting; even to the point of feeling like I’m on Heroin every time I listen to them! Case in point; Remember The Carpenters song that was playing on the radio in the movie: ‘1408’ starring – John Cusack? Well that movie may be a little more haunting to me than it is to some of you! I have a little personal experience to share with you about that…
This particular experience happened to me back in the early 1980’s. We were coming back from up north. Six of us filled the car, and my brother was driving. I knew we had already driven a long way back toward Toronto Canada, because we were already separated by a knee-high meridian, and lots of traffic.
So what’s my brother do? He puts on a CD called: ‘Best of The Carpenters…’ Anyway, we all fell asleep, and woke up screaming because we were heading straight for the meridian, which likely would have flipped the car and killed us all! Just thought fore-warned is fore-armed! If you’re going on a long trip, play Joe Satriani! The Carpenters could lull you to sleep and kill you! Soon cars will drive us rather than the other way round. Do you like that idea? I believe it robs drivers of the power beneath their feet! I could not be here several times over! What say ye? Come hither! Feels like a Morgue around here today…