There is so much against my being here! For one thing, you can’t type if you’re unwilling to put down your sandwich! LOL! And the three people who come here, all say it’s not my writing that hatches such a low prospect of even crickets visiting my blog. One of them told me it’s because I scare people away. That’s ridiculous! BOOOOOOOOOOO!! OK, for once, I’ll be honest. It broke my heart! Not only my heart, but also my spirit, because I know it’s true! And that’s kind of odd, because in real life, people like to suck on me like they’ve found a wet sponge in a dessert! I don’t wanna brag… OK! You’re forcing me to brag here, so do you have a few days to spare perhaps? I have saved many lives; in the form of bacteria, but none-the-less, a victory for the tiny!
I never tell people what I’m thinking, so that leaves them a little un-nerved at first, I have to admit… In fact, it really gives them the creeps because I think it makes them feel naked! But when people get to know me, given 7 or 8 years of bewilderment and frustration, we’re just fine, as long as I promise to only communicate via a trusty, long distance Operator, and have the correct code, so people can get to their shelters on time! Else-wise, for all in tents and porpoises, people find me to be a descent and compassionate person, once you wade through all the slime and muck encasing all my devious intentions…
So just to set the record straight, (There’s a record?) aside from a possible small, nuclear blast, you have nothing to fear of me! Grant it, at times, I throw myself to the floor, thrashing my arms and legs in utter chaos and futility, but that only lasts for a few weeks! Look, I’m just here to say I like you, and I hope that this fixes everything up… Thank you for reading the babble of a Curmudgeon! And unless you’re up for exquisite pain, and vitual pimples, pray to me!!
Or maybe I should have told you I’m rich first, and then wimp and wine! At least that way, I’d attract the woman, which Shirley out-number the men! The sore tooth of the matter is, it’s my curse to always horse around, and actually say what I think! If that scares people away, then they must be worrying about their reputations. So telling me I shouldn’t worry about my stats proves a false assumption under examination. Yes? What good is having a good blog if nobody knows it’s here? Isn’t it up to the sheeple to stop behaving like chickens, and stop imagining things that just aren’t true? Isn’t it time to grow up, and start acting like a six-year-old? I want you, to show me the way! And, I want my Mummy!!