I left home when I was five!
I know! People usually wait until they’re sixteen so they can ‘legally’ leave home. I ask you though; What does a five-year old know about The Law? Building blocks yes, Marbles? I didn’t have all of them. But Law? That wasn’t my territory. Bubble gum, and cartoons! That was real life!
I can’t believe how early in life rebellion had reared its ugly head for me! One day, my Mummy said I couldn’t go out to play, because we might have to go out somewhere, and she didn’t want me to roll around in the dirt, which is a major pass time, as any five-year old will tell you… ‘somewhere’ Indeed! I just got it in my head, I wasn’t gonna take this abuse any longer!
My Mummy must’ve got a big kick out of raising me, cuz here’s this five-year old, barely eligible for a diploma from kindergarten, walking around the livingroom, collecting up my clothes, and draping them over my arm, and she’s sitting there intently watching. How she kept a straight face, to this day, I still don’t know! And then I paused and enquired: ‘Well where am I gonna live?’ Mummy: ‘Well Darrell, if you’re leaving home, you’re going to have to make decisions for yourself from now on! Now you’re going to have to pay rent, and buy food and clothes for yourself!’
Me: (Tears welling up in my eyes) ‘Well how am I going to do that?’
Mummy: ‘Well Darrell… You’re going to have to get a job now, so you can pay for a new place to live! Such is life! It’s a cold, cruel world out there ya know!’
Me: (Shaking in my slippers) ‘But all I know how to do is finger-paint, and I don’t like doing that, cuz they always look the same (WHAAA!!!).
Mummy: ‘Well I’m sure you’ll find a finger-painting factory in the newspaper…’
Me: (Desperate to stay) ‘OK I’m going now!’
Mummy: ‘Alright then… Bye-bye Darrell…’
Me: ‘I’m really gonna go ya know!’
Mummy: ‘Yes you told me. But if you’re intent on making a new life for yourself, there’s nothing I can do to stop you…’
Me: ‘OK, bye-bye!’ With that, I wiped off my tears, and walked out the door…
Now lets just pause for a moment and go over act 1 here. Here’s a little 5-year-old boy, brave and determined as all get up, that he’s gonna start a new life of his own… Now how brave is that? How brave to walk out that door! And look what my Mummy did… She told me all about how to go out and make a life for myself, just in her cunning object lesson way of things! I was sure I’d find a job finger-painting somewhere…
He’s really gonna do it!
So my Mummy peers out the window, and sure enough, there’s this tiny figure with clothes, walking straight toward the busy traffic light! She said to her self: [That little bugger! He really gonna do it!]… So off she stormed after me, grabbing the folded belt on the way out! As she marched up to me, I was actually on my way back! So she grabbed my arm and whipped my legs all the way back home, dragging me most of the way. So when she got me upstairs, she stood me before her and said: ‘There! Feel like looking for a job now???’ Me: ‘No Mummy!’ (sobbing profusely, only able to take short breaths!). Mummy: ‘Well what were you coming back for then???’
Me: ‘I forgot… to kiss you… good-bye…’
My Mummy told me later, as she recalled, she said, at that moment, she could have cut her own arm off at the shoulder! We both learned a valuable lesson that day! Sometimes you’re better off right where you are! And never under-estimate the mind of a child…