We’re all part of the human collective, so if there’s any subject we ‘all’ can relate to, yet nobody wants to discuss, it’s barfing… I mean, just to know something can come out the same way it went in is disturbing in itself! So one precautionary measure, might be in not eating too fast. Oddly enough, that’s not what I’m here to discuss… I’m here to tell you of a little anecdote I learned, and how it came into play this morning. Needless to say, this is NOT the time to go get a sandwich (A witch that likes to hang out at the beach…).
Anyone who describes drinking as being a good thing, has to be drunk! Have you ever been drunk, and they give you a water-bed to lie on? You get sea sick really fast! This is when we usually employ that one trick everybody knows, in desperate hope of salvation! We put one foot on the floor, and hope to God it stops the room from spinning… If not, we head to the bathroom for more fun and games. As you can see by this picture, neither of this guys feet made it to the floor at all…
Once, when I was sitting out on a fence drunk out of my mind, with some 30 feet and 3 feet of snow between me and the side-door, I was reaching my arm out in desperation, hoping someone would hold me up, so I don’t bury myself trying to get to the door… But everyone who was within the steady stream of people marching in, just pretended I wasn’t there… These are the same people mind you, who will be in a state just like mine, 3 hours from now!
Anyway, I got there myself and was sitting on the side stoop, feeling so sickly, when this girl I have the hots for arrived, she just patted my shoulder and said: ‘Get it up Darrell! Get it up!’ Well, that made me horny, which started my heart racing, and I barfed like I’ve never barfed before! And I felt just capital again, so I marched inside, and poured myself a drink… Some people never learn… However, I did learn something that night!
Better out than in…
Some people are just naturally a little sickly in the mornings. With others, it creeps up on them as they age… Now, knock on wood, (knocks on head) I don’t have that problem. This morning, Leslie woke up looking as pale as a ghost! So I spotted a noodle down the sink drain in the bathroom, from where Tim had barfed, and thought it just the thing! So I walked into the bedroom and told her about the noodle! She got really angry and said: ‘DON’T TELL ME STUFF LIKE THAT!!’ But the seed had been planted. About one minute later, she ran into the washroom and barfed her guts up! Mission accomplished!
So the next time someone doesn’t feel very well, the best thing you can do for them, is make them sick! Talk about runny eggs and under-cooked bacon, and watch them make a bee line for the washroom! Or bring them a bowl of porridge… It looks like somebody already ate it! Perhaps cruel to be kind, in the right measure, can be just what the Doctor ordered… Anyway, Sneezing’s Greetings! BTW, if you look like the girl above, seek food!