10 Ways to Improve Your Health

• Stop drinking after that 75th. beer…
• Making your portions smaller.  Remove one lettuce leaf.
• If you must commit Harrie Carrie and jump from a ten story building, at least wear a good set of bed springs on your feet!  Haven’t you ever wondered if that would work?  Yeah!  Why not just live dangerously instead?
• Don’t take sleeping pills just before you Hang Glide in The Rockies!
• Run to the bathroom!  I know it’s not like a marathon or anything…  So run to the water cooler!  See the chain reaction there?
• BTW, do not walk toward a nuclear blast saying: ‘Look at the pretty light!’
• Always put clothes on before you go out into a blizzard!
• It’s OK if you wanna smoke pot.  Just don’t forget to breathe!
• Why do heart attack victims watch scary movies?
• Don’t stop to pick your nose in front of an on-coming Cement Mixer…