I got my topic from the news this morning though my title is completely original. A father just bought his seven-year old daughter, a 48 million dollar, oversized, blue diamond ring! Lets consider the implications of this for a moment. She’s only seven years old! She could want tiny, replica diamond rings for all her Barbie dolls! What if she gets pissed off because you won’t do her new pom-pom dance, in the middle of Times Square at 12 noon, and flushes it down the toilet? I’d advice New Yorker’s everywhere, even those living in Ireland, to check their sewage system daily for discarded diamonds! What’s diphtheria if you’re rich?
And it’s all because your mama don’t dance and your daddy don’t rock and roll! Sorry… I got a little carried away there. No. It’s all because one morning when her father had barely gotten out of bed she asked: ‘Oh Daddio? Daddio? Please take me to lunch in Times Square today Daddio? Of please with truffles Daddio?’ You are my favorite Daddio, even in all the red light district!’
Here this guy is buying his seven-year old a 48 million dollar ring (not including petrol tax), and I can’t even afford a guppy for my mustard jar: ‘Sorry Sir! You’re 4 cents short! We have some interesting guppy water on sale for 87 cents?’ ‘No thankyou’ I’d say, on the verge of suicide by sniffing onion juice!
What could this guy have been thinking? I’m sure she’d have been completely satisfied with a small house in The Hampton’s and a Cadillac convertible for her own brand new ‘Kiddies Speedway’ for her and her piano school friends…
She gets 48 million dollars for FREE, practically a sibling, and I have to clear the moths away from my last, surviving nickel? It kind of peeves me off when I get dirty looks for getting off a subway train, and she can just sashay into Buckingham Palace and quip: ‘See my rock?’ If I were me, I’d of had to ask: ‘How much for the pom pom’s?’